Selfish Man Cheered for Refusing To Share Food With Pregnant Friend

A man has been cheered online after revealing why he refused to share some of his food with a pregnant friend.

The man, who goes by u/yuripumpkinspice on Reddit, took to the platform on July 21 to detail his confrontation with the woman—which took place over a gluten-free meal at a swanky brunch spot. The post has drawn more than 13,000 upvotes since being shared online, with most readers backing the gluten-intolerant man due to his food options being, on average, more limited and more expensive than most.

“Friendships thrive on understanding and mutual respect,” Seth Eisenberg, a licensed PAIRS trainer, told Newsweek. “Maintaining open communication and empathy helps navigate tricky situations while taking care of one’s health.

“Balancing empathy and self-care can be challenging, especially when understanding a friend’s pregnancy cravings, but not at the cost of one’s own well-being,” he added.

“I recently found out I have a gluten allergy,” the man wrote online. “I’ve been making sure to avoid foods that contain even trace amounts of gluten, because even a small amount causes indigestion and in some cases vomiting.

“I was invited out to breakfast with some of my friends, and I let them know of the allergy so we could pick somewhere that had food I could eat.”

It soon turned out that a couple within his friend group who had recently learned they were expecting, Emma and Via, were also coming along to the gathering.

“Via is the one who is pregnant, and said she wouldn’t be having much since she wasn’t feeling very well due to morning sickness,” he said. “Everyone understood and offered to let her just have a few bites off their plates so she could still have something nice even if it was just a little.

“I didn’t agree to this though, since if they were going to be sharing with each other, I couldn’t take part. I explained that I am not feeling OK sharing since I’d just be giving food without getting any, and all my friends seemed to completely understand, as well as agree that was very fair.”

During the meal, Via requested a bite of the man’s gluten-free dish but was politely declined due to the health risks associated with cross-contamination and his reluctance to be left with little to eat. Despite the explanation, Via insisted, leading to a tense exchange.

The man explained their unwillingness to share food due to the restrictive nature of gluten allergies, noting that even trace amounts could cause severe reactions. When Via’s request escalated into a confrontation, the situation became highly emotional, resulting in Via and her partner, Emma, leaving the restaurant without settling their portion of the bill.

“I told her if she’d gotten her appetite back, she could always order herself a plate so she didn’t need to rely on anyone sharing their food,” the man said. “Via went off at this, and told me about all the things she’s needed to pay for in preparation of her and Emma’s baby.

“She told me I was being selfish and heartless because I didn’t want to give her half my plate when I can afford to do so…Via started ugly crying, and everyone tried to calm her down, but she and Emma ended up just leaving without paying their portion of the bill.”

“The man stayed calm and reiterated your stance respectfully, which was the right approach,” communication expert, Eisenberg, said. “Pregnancy can amplify emotions, but it’s crucial to maintain your boundaries for your own well-being.”

Viewers on Reddit, largely supportive of the man’s actions, highlighted the importance of setting boundaries and the need for mutual respect in friendships.

“I don’t want to eat, I’ll just scavenge off of everyone else. Now I’m hungry. So since you don’t want to share you have to buy me a plate,” one user, u/pleasecoffeeme, wrote. “Waaah, I can’t afford to eat out, that’s why you should buy my food. Everyone is mean to me, so my partner and I are going to dine and dash. Your response to Emma should be a Venmo. Your pregnant ‘friend’ is really entitled.”

Another user, u/scary-cycle1508, added: “Call Emma out and remind her that you repeatedly said no and that she could have simply told her partner to [take her] to get something to eat instead of sitting back quietly.”

Eisenberg said that a follow-up conversation using the PAIRS Talking Tips exercise could be put to use to mend the strained relationship. This exercise, developed by the nonprofit that offers family and relationship education, promotes open and empathetic communication.

“Letting Via know that their intention was never to embarrass her, but simply to protect your health, could help rebuild mutual understanding and respect,” Eisenberg said.

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