Woman Excited For Proposal—Until One Word Changes Everything: ‘Hurts’

‘A woman says she left her boyfriend of three years after he told her she had not “earned” an engagement ring, a comment she wrote “hurt so bad” that it changed how she saw their future.

The 36-year-old Reddit user Willing-Proposal4837 explained that she and her 41-year-old boyfriend had agreed early in their relationship that marriage and children were the goal.

Given their ages, she said she did not want to wait more than two years for a proposal. He had previously been married and has a child.

Argument Revelation

About a year ago, the original poster (OP) wrote, he told her he could not afford a ring, but had been given one by his mother to propose with in the meantime. They had it resized and the OP believed an engagement was coming.

More than a year later, there had been no proposal.

The tension resurfaced after he returned from the store with another Hot Wheels car for his collection. When she noticed the latest purchase cost $7, more than the $1.50 he had previously claimed, she questioned him.

During their argument, she wrote, he said she had not “earned” a ring yet.

“I can’t help but believe that a ring or proposal is something we aren’t supposed to ‘earn’ like if it were some kind of performance merit,” user Willing-Proposal4837 told fellow Redditors this week.

“This statement hurt so bad that everything else he said after just sounded muffled to me.”

The next day, the OP packed a bag and left.

“I’m sad to say that I think his statement and the feeling of having to convince someone that I am worth marrying is damage that can’t be undone,” she shared, adding that even if he proposed now, it would feel like a “shut up” ring.

Warning Signs

Reddit commentators backed the woman’s decision amid more than 200 comments.

“I’m proud of you,” began one, “I am glad you walked away. What he said was cruel. What a horrible attitude to have about someone you claim to love.

Another added: “He’s going to dangle that carrot (marriage) over your head for as long as you let him. Good for you for leaving.”

The woman’s concerns mirror themes raised in a February 2025 StyleCaster piece published on YourTango about signs a partner may not want to marry.

“If you bring up the topic of marriage and he changes the subject as fast as possible, marriage isn’t on his mind,” matchmaker Carly Spindel wrote in the article.

She claimed, “Men are simple creatures. When they want something, you’ll know.”