Parent Has Eye-Opening Moment About Raising Kids Today: ‘Exhausting’
4 hours ago
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A parent reflecting on daily life with young children has struck a chord online, describing a level of constant interaction that feels far removed from their own upbringing.
Reddit user nfc22 shared that from the moment they return home from work, their children want to be involved in everything, from cooking dinner to spending time together in shared spaces.
‘Shut my brain off’
“I’m constantly engaging with them and the only time I’m able to shut my brain off is while I’m sitting in bed before I go to sleep,” the parent wrote, adding that while the experience is positive, it is also, “insanely exhausting.”
The post contrasts sharply with memories of childhood independence, where time was often spent playing alone or with friends while parents focused on work, chores and routines.
Responses suggest that the shift is not just personal, but part of a wider generational change in parenting.
One Reddit contributor pointed to research backing up the experience: “Yeah, there are studies [about] this!
“Parents today spend significantly more time with their kids (something like moms spend 50 percent more daily child care time today than in 1965, despite higher rates of dual working parent households. This is why we’re all burnt out (and why our parents were not).”
Data supports that claim. According to a University of California (UCI), Irvine study, mothers in 2012 spent about 104 minutes per day on child care, compared with 54 minutes in 1965, while fathers increased their time from 16 minutes to 59 minutes daily.
The same study notes that, “the time parents spend with children is regarded as critical for positive cognitive, behavioral and academic outcomes,” said Judith Treas, a sociology professor at UCI.
Changing Expectations
That increase in parental involvement appears to reflect changing expectations about what parenting should look like. The UCI research describes a cultural shift toward more hands-on caregiving, including activities like reading, playing and helping with homework.
For some, the contrast with their own upbringing carries emotional weight.
Another Reddit commentator admitted: “I have almost no memory of my parents interacting with me as a kid. My dad was always working, so there’s that, but my mum just couldn’t be bothered with us.”
The same commentator added that the experience shaped their adult relationships, writing, “I have no real relationship with my mum now as an adult, but I miss my dad a lot, we catch up when we can.”
Others on the forum see the increased time together as worth the effort.
A parent said they, “spend every waking hour with my kids. Yes, it’s exhausting, yes, I can’t always get the housework done etc., but it’s so worth it.”
Research suggests there may be benefits to that level of involvement. A study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that, “the more time parents spent with children, the higher their children’s well-being will be.”
The study adds that, “parental accompaniment is an important determinant of children’s well-being,” linking time spent together with improved emotional and psychological outcomes.
Striking the Right Balance
Even so, the day-to-day reality described by parents shows the strain of balancing work, household responsibilities and near-constant interaction with children.
The original poster noted that their children rarely play independently despite having their own rooms and toys, preferring instead to remain close and engaged.
The discussion reflects a shift in how childhood and parenting are experienced, with many families moving away from more hands-off approaches toward continuous involvement.
For parents like nfc22, the result is a routine that feels rewarding but relentless, raising questions about how much time together is ideal and how families can balance connection with rest.
Newsweek has reached out to nfc22 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
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