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Woman’s Viral Video About Problem With Modern Dating Sparks Debate
The world of dating is notoriously complex and difficult to navigate, and while many struggle to find someone good looking, funny or intelligent enough, one woman has gone viral on TikTok after sharing a more unusual gripe about the people she meets.
In a video posted on TikTok (@zmarner), Zoe Marner, 22, explained that the main difficulty she has is connecting with someone who forms their own opinions on broad topics. Whether it’s cancel culture, or only children versus siblings, all she wants is someone who is “interested in the world” around them. Is that so hard to find?
Marner, from Montreal, Canada, considers herself to be a curious person who likes having a healthy debate from time to time. She told Newsweek that she is looking for someone who is “equally as curious” as her, but that’s proving difficult to find.
She will often ask her dates what they think about social trends or behavior patterns to find out what their stance is. But more often than not, she’s met with vague responses or a lack of opinion, leaving her feeling “pretty disappointed.”
![Zoe Marner's problem with dating](https://i0.wp.com/d.newsweek.com/en/full/2392762/zoe-marners-problem-dating.png?resize=1200%2C800&ssl=1)
@zmarner / TikTok
After sharing this problem on TikTok, the clip went viral with more than 622,200 views and over 93,000 likes. Evidently, she’s not the only one facing this issue.
Marner said: “My dating experiences are usually positive, although, I am what some consider picky. I get along with all my dates and sometimes pursue it further, but I find a deep connection to be pretty rare.
“I like people with strong opinions, who like to think about everything, even things that don’t pertain to them. I wouldn’t say vague responses or lack of opinions is a red flag, but it does mean we probably won’t get along in the long-term.”
While the specifics of the topic don’t matter to Marner, it’s more about learning what interests the individual and what has helped shape their perspective.
She will often ask questions like these during a first date if she thinks the person will have some interesting and engaging responses, or simply “if the conversation is dying.” Anything to avoid awkward silences.
She continued: “I’m interested in a lot of things, including birth order. If a date asked me about this, I would reference a TikTok where a woman outlined divorce rates of people with various birth orders. Then I’d talk about the couples I know and their respective birth order.
“I know a TikTok isn’t the best source, but it’s just a date, we don’t need rigorous fact-checking. If my date asked about cancel culture, I’d probably bring up some examples of people who have been canceled and I hope we could dissect it together.”
Marner’s date doesn’t necessarily have to hold the same opinions as her, as she’s open to debate, however she would prefer to find common ground. “I’m not super argumentative, I just want to understand what experiences informed their opinions,” she told Newsweek.
Since posting about her experiences on social media, she’s been shocked to see her video gain such a positive response. It’s sparked a huge debate about the different types of people you meet on dates.
Many social media users reached out to Marner to say that they too “want someone curious” and are finding that it’s a difficult challenge.
The viral TikTok post has gained over 2,900 comments so far. Many people shared their experiences of having a lack of chemistry. One comment reads: “I literally call it only child syndrome.”
Another person responded: “Some people just refuse to critically think about anything. It’s infuriating honestly.”
While not everyone agreed, as another TikTok user wrote: “Maybe they don’t want to get into those types of conversations because they get heated quickly.”
Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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