The generation raised among dating apps, recession-era romcoms, the social media boom, and relationship therapy may be cheating less—not because they are exceedingly moral compared with their older and younger peers, but because they are just far too tired.
For millennials, juggling demanding jobs, rising rent, and managing existing relationships, all while trying to keep up with therapy sessions, leg days at the gym, and meal prep routines, can leave little time for extracurricular romance.
Even with dating apps, hookup sites and social media platforms offering more access to potential partners than ever before, many millennials appear to be opting out of infidelity altogether. Whether that is down to economic anxiety, emotional burnout, or a shifting cultural script around relationships, having an affair seems to be on the decline among those born between 1981 and 1996.
The question of the millennial affair sparked renewed debate after a snippet from Mamamia Out Loud, a hit podcast, went viral in November. In the clip, the hosts discuss how, despite cheating being logistically easier thanks to accessible technology, millennials just are not doing it as much. The hosts proceeded to share a range of reasons as to why this might be the case, with their theories spanning society, culture and personal finances.
The Instagram post, shared by @mamamiaoutloud, prompted a cascade of comments from viewers, many of them millennials, who echoed the sentiment with both humor and exhaustion.
“You want me to hang out with another straight man on purpose??? In my free time??” one viewer joked among a flurry of comments that showcase how relationship escapades have been decentered.
“I always think about that post where a woman pointed out how men can’t even afford second families anymore,” a different viewer shared.
While it may be hard to pinpoint exactly how every millennial defines their relationship and how many cheat in them worldwide, generational data appears to support the observation.
A 2017 analysis by sociologist Nicholas Wolfinger for the Institute for Family Studies found that Americans over 55— particularly those born between 1940 and 1959—reported the highest rates of extramarital sex. Gen Z, meanwhile, the oldest of whom are only 28 at the time of writing, is also scoring higher on reported infidelity than millennials. And, what is more, they have more disposable income than they do.
Lisa Chen, a licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship expert, told Newsweek that having an affair today is more than a conscious decision or a lust-driven action—it is an energy expense many millennials simply cannot afford.
“Affairs are ’emotional side-projects,’ and millennials already feel stretched with burnout, cost-of-living pressures, career, and political unrest,” Chen said. “They already have minimal capacity for one partnership.”
Chen described today’s relationships as more emotionally intensive than in the past, with higher expectations for presence, vulnerability and attunement.
“Taking on another relationship takes too much bandwidth,” she said.
Technology, too, with all the ways it can make finding people to cheat with easier, now functions as a deterrent.
“Location sharing, messages, social media…It’s almost guaranteed they’ll get caught,” Chen added.
The therapist says that in this case, burnout is more than a buzzword.
According to the 2024 Aflac WorkForces Report, 66 percent of millennials—those now 29 to 44—report experiencing moderate to high levels of burnout, compared with 55 percent of Gen Xers and 39 percent of boomers. A study by personal finance app Piere, which analyzed 35,000 millennial users over three years, found that 59 percent had considered delaying major life milestones—like weddings, buying homes or starting families—due to financial strain.
Millennials are the most educated generation in history, but also among the most economically squeezed. In many advanced economies, millennials were hit hard by the 2008 global financial crisis and never fully recovered. In the U.K., they reported earning less in their 30s than earlier generations did, while in the U.S., a study in the American Journal of Sociology revealed that millennials hold 30 percent less wealth at age 35 than boomers did at the same age.
Even groceries reflect the shift: a 2024 PriceListo analysis shows the average weekly grocery bill has jumped 33 percent in just a decade.
Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, relationship expert at the Hily Dating App and a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist, told Newsweek that millennials are navigating relationships differently—not just because of what is happening now, but because of what they saw growing up.
“Millennials have largely had a front row seat—either directly in their own families or in the families of people close to them—to the fallout of divorce, infidelity, and how it impacts the entire relational ecosystem,” Romanoff said. “This could result in being more intentional with partner selection, choosing to work out unmet needs in more direct ways, and less acceptance of infidelity.”
Romanoff believes that today’s millennial relationships are forged with greater awareness and less pressure to conform.
“We’re seeing millennials choose their own path, intentionally pick life partners, and trust the timing of their lives,” she said. “Because long-term committed relationships are no longer the default, those who select them are more likely to commit to the framework of fidelity and loyalty.”
The collapse of “third spaces”—public spaces like bars, clubs and community centers—following the pandemic, has also made it harder for extramarital relationships to begin.
“There is less opportunity for outside connection, and more reliance on a primary romantic partner,” Romanoff said.
Even the rise of therapy and digital culture plays a role, experts say.
“Millennials are more self-aware. They are the therapy-generation,” said Chen. “TikTok psychology, relationship knowledge, and boundaries helped inform this generation that cheating isn’t just a moral issue, it’s a mental health trigger.”
Yet not everyone agrees that cheating is simply a casualty of exhaustion. Dr. Jasmonae Joyriel, a licensed psychologist and sex therapist, told Newsweek that while external pressures are real, many millennials are simply redefining what fidelity even means.
“Relationship structures have expanded to include monogamish, polyamorous, relationship anarchy, and so on,” Joyriel said. “When fidelity does not have to fit in a rigid box, less people feel the need to break that box.”
She attributes the shift not to fatigue, but to communication being generally more open between partners than in previous generations, and to partners being generally more compatible due to getting together slightly later in life.
“When couples can discuss these topics more openly and design relationships to fit their unique wants and needs, the risk of selfishly stepping out and unilaterally deciding to get one’s needs met, decreases significantly,” Joyriel said.
The idea that millennials are too stressed to cheat may be a compelling narrative, and it may even be true in part. But Joyriel cautions against oversimplifying.
“Cheating typically occurs more often when there is more stress in a relationship or career,” Joyriel said. “So, the chances that people are cheating less because they are burnt out or tired seems highly unlikely.”
Still, if the Mamamia podcast’s comments section is any indication, the idea that a shift in relationships has occurred resonated.
“I think we value actually liking our partner,” one millennial commenter said, summing up the prevailing mood.
