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‘Guilt’ Over Brother’s ‘Hurtful’ Reason for Not Inviting Sibling to His Wedding: ‘Selfish and Petty’
A long-standing agreement between two siblings over a treasured family heirloom has led to a bitter fallout and guilty feelings, with one brother refusing to invite his sister to his wedding.
The sister turned to Reddit, as original poster (OP) AgreeableRice2002, this week to share that before their mother passed away from cancer, she had given both of her children a sentimental piece of jewelry.
Swap Pieces
The sister received their mom’s wedding ring, which had been passed down from their grandmother, with the understanding that it would one day go to her daughter.
The brother received a necklace, intended to be handed down to his own daughter.
Years later, the brother, now engaged, asked that they swap pieces so he could propose with the ring. When his sister refused, explaining that she was following their mother’s wishes, tensions rapidly escalated.

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He stopped speaking to her altogether and later failed to invite her to his wedding.
“When I tried to call him, his fiancée told me that it would be best to not call anymore and that my brother was really hurt,” the OP told Redditors in her appeal for outside opinions.
Their situation reflects an evergreen conversation about family disputes and estrangements.
According to a Newsweek report, feuds over inheritance, personal choices and unresolved childhood conflicts are among the most common reasons siblings grow apart.
Some experts suggest that once a sibling cuts off contact, as the OP’s brother appears to have done, reconciliation becomes increasingly difficult.
‘Respect the boundary’
Commentators on Reddit largely sided with the sister, expressing disbelief at the “jerk” brother’s reaction, particularly as their late mother had made her wishes clear.
As one user wrote, “He is the one who is being hurtful. Honoring a loved one’s wishes can sometimes put us in a difficult position.
“You’re between a rock and a hard place here, and your brother could have stepped up and tried to understand. He’s being selfish and petty. He had his future wife do the communicating because he knows he’s wrong.
“I would respect the boundary and not contact him.”
The OP agreed with that comment in reply, adding, “It just hurts because we’ve always been close and I still end up feeling guilty.”
Others questioned the role of the brother’s fiancée in the situation.
“Brother and his fiancée definitely found each other, though,” a user remarked, adding, “I would never let a piece of jewelry come between my future husband and his brother.
A fellow user speculated: “She did the communicating because she doesn’t think he’s wrong.”
‘A blessing’
Disputes over family heirlooms have been the subject of legal conflicts as well.
A similar case covered by Newsweek involved a woman who planned to sue her brother after he took a family ring that had been meant for her. In that instance, online critics also supported the sibling who sought to uphold their family’s original intentions.
“People tend to get upset when you don’t just give them what they want,” a supporter advised the OP in the thread, “Let their absence be a blessing.”
Newsweek has contacted AgreeableRice2002 for comment via Reddit.
Newsweek‘s “What Should I Do?” offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work, and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.
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