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New Mom Holding This One Boundary With MIL After Giving Birth Applauded: ‘Best For You’
An expectant mother is appealing for advice on how to handle her mother-in-law (MIL) who insists on staying at their home right after she gives birth.
The 28-year-old first-time mom-to-be turned to Reddit, as original poster (OP) Reasonable_One_6685, this week after “struggling” with a tense situation with her MIL.
Mother-in-Law’s Ultimatum
The OP explained that while she welcomed her husband’s mother to visit after their baby was born, she did not want overnight guests for the first few days. She wanted to bond and adjust as a family and treasure those moments without accommodating visitors.
The mom-to-be and her 27-year-old husband, who supported the decision, told their families in advance.
Her own mother, who lives nearby, understood and even offered to host the MIL in her home, which has a guest room. The couple also proposed paying for a comfortable hotel stay.

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However, “When my husband explained this to his mom, she became upset and said if she couldn’t stay with us, she wouldn’t come at all,” the conflicted OP told Redditors.
“This response threw me off. We’ve always hosted her before, even though having guests makes me anxious.
“I’ve never said no because she’s family and I feel I should get over my anxiety, but I feel the first few days after birth are different.”
The OP mentioned that both her mother and MIL tend to give unsolicited parenting advice, which she feared would only add to her stress.
Her husband remained supportive, but was clearly disappointed, making her feel “torn” between her own well-being and keeping the peace within the family.
One person spoke for many Reddit commentators when they told the OP that she was “definitely” not in the wrong.
“You have every right to make the decision that is best for you, especially when you are going through such a major life event like having a baby.”
Another user urged her to stay firm, adding, “Tell your husband that he needs to handle his mother. The stress this is causing you is incredibly dangerous for you and the baby.”
The tension described in the post is not unusual for new parents, as conflicts often arise when extended family members have different expectations about their roles.
Parents’ Responsibility
A Newsweek article discussed similar struggles, noting that many new parents feel pressured when relatives ignore their requests. According to the article, experts advise that parents should be firm about their choices, as it is their responsibility to create a comfortable environment for themselves and their newborn.
A WikiHow guide also offers advice on handling these situations, recommending that new parents communicate their needs early, involve their spouse in conversations and set clear expectations.
The guide emphasizes that while some conflicts are unavoidable, making decisions based on what is best for the parents and baby should remain the priority.
‘Physically harming you’
For the anxious expectant woman, who has yet to respond to her feedback, online supporters reassured her that her decision was justified.
As one commentator warned, the MIL’s, “Tantrum is quite literally physically harming you. If she wants to sulk, let her. Focus on your health and your baby.”
Newsweek has contacted Reasonable_One_6685 for comment via Reddit.
Newsweek‘s “What Should I Do?” offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work, and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.
To read how Newsweek uses AI as a newsroom tool, click here.
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