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Parent Agonizes Over How to Tell Friend Secret They’ve Kept for 12 Years: “Just Tell Him”


A parent is wrestling with how to tell their childhood babysitter—who they haven’t seen in nearly two decades—they had named their son after him.

The parent and original poster (OP), Reddit user depressivesfinnar, recounted growing up in a “terrible home” and noted that an older boy—who lived next door and used to babysit them—was one of the only people they looked up to.

According to the OP’s post, the babysitter introduced them to music, movies, and games that shaped their hobbies and left a lasting positive impression on them.

When the OP’s family moved away at age 12, they lost contact. But six years later, as a young adult choosing a name for their child, the memories of their babysitter resurfaced.

Couple of young men talking on the
Stock photo of two men talking on the stairs.

lorenzoantonucci/iStock/Getty Images Plus

“I didn’t originally mean to name my son after anyone I knew personally,” the OP explained. But after reflecting on the babysitter’s impact, the name felt right—and, crucially, it was the only one both parents agreed on.

“Fast forward another 12 years to present, I get a friend request from that friend on Facebook,” they continued. “We’re still in the same county, and he mostly works from home but comes to my city every now and then.

“He offered to get lunch some time and catch up, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to tell him I have a preteen named after him without it sounding weird?”

Reddit users quickly chimed in with advice and reassurance, with one suggesting telling their old babysitter, “I want you to know that I named my child after you because you had a profound impact on me growing up.”

Another added, “I would be insanely flattered. I can’t think of a better way to make someone’s day!”

“If he knew what your family was like, he might understand that he was the only male caregiver that you had to look up to,” one Redditor noted. “I think he’d be honored.”

An Honor

According to Romper, naming a child after someone can be a hugely moving gesture, symbolizing respect, gratitude, and the desire to keep a positive influence alive across generations.

It’s often seen as a tribute to those who have made a lasting impression on a person’s life, even if the honoree is unaware of it.

This situation also reflects the lasting power of childhood friendships and connections. Research from Life Management Science Labs highlights how early friendships and role models can have long-term effects on happiness and development.

Positive childhood experiences, even brief ones, can shape self-esteem, interests, and emotional resilience well into adulthood.

Newsweek has contacted depressivesfinnar for comment via Reddit.

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