It is often called the most wonderful time of the year, but, for some, the thought of crowded holiday parties, clinking glasses of wine, or showing up in a sparkly new outfit feels more exhausting than exciting.
A recent YouGov survey found that 87 percent of Americans will celebrate Christmas or another winter holiday this year. Yet celebration doesn’t always equal enjoyment—and choosing not to revel in nonstop festivities doesn’t make someone a Grinch or a Scrooge.
Too often, people who prefer quiet or solitude are unfairly labeled during the holiday season, with their reluctance to socialize mistaken for negativity.
Licensed psychologist Dr. Anne Welsh told Newsweek about the five most-misunderstood traits of individuals who dislike holiday socializing, and why their perspective deserves a closer look.
Welsh, from Cambridge, Massachusetts, said: “Everyone has a different nervous system and preferences, and there is nothing wrong with that.”
1. A Simple Preference
This is often misinterpreted as social anxiety.
Welsh said: “Some people are more introverted. They restore themselves through quiet rather than crowds. This is not a fear or avoidance of social situation, but just an acknowledgment of where they get their energy from.”
2. A Sense of Depletion
This could be mistaken for disinterest. While some people thrive on the never-ending social plans that come with Christmas, others find the holidays stack stress, responsibilities, and emotional demands in ways that feel overwhelming.
Welsh said: “Sometimes people opt out of gatherings because they don’t have the bandwidth, not because they don’t care.”
3. Valuing Deeper Conversations Over Small Talk
This can be misinterpreted as being aloof.
Welsh said: “For people that crave deep, personal conversations, sometimes a holiday party with bigger groups, mingling and small talk can feel performative. They aren’t being dismissive; they just know that they connect best in spaces where they can be themselves.”
4. Processing Information Differently
This is often misinterpreted as being overly sensitive, but let’s be honest—are the holidays even complete without a little family drama? For some, the jokes can feel like personal digs, while others simply don’t have the social battery to handle big gatherings.
Welsh said: “The holidays are a lot of noise, people, emotional information, and sensory details. When someone’s nervous system is highly attuned and aware, it can be flooding. They aren’t overly sensitive or fragile; they are processing information quickly, which gets exhausting.”
5. Having Good Boundaries
This is sometimes misinterpreted as standoffishness. However, some people have mastered the art of saying “no” rather than committing to plans they know they will not enjoy.
Welsh said: “People who decline invitations may just be practicing self trust and honoring their limits by setting a boundary. For people that have historically struggled with people pleasing, saying no might even be a sign of growth! They are protecting their energy so that they can say yes to the things that matter.”
The holidays are meant to bring joy, but they can also test our patience and emotional resilience. Whether you are navigating family feuds, dodging awkward jokes, or simply feeling drained by the social whirlwind, remember that it is fine to set boundaries and prioritize your well-being.
After all, the season isn’t about perfection—it is about finding moments of peace and connection that truly matter.
