Making friends as an adult isn’t always easy, but a Midwest-based friendship educator has revealed her top tips for meeting people and building relationships in your 30s.
Mary, who shares advice on TikTok under the handle @better.social.skills, has built an audience by teaching practical ways to build and maintain friendships in adulthood.
Drawing from her background in interpersonal communication, her own experience relocating and starting fresh in new cities, and her natural extroversion, she’s made it her mission to help others improve their social confidence.
“I got into teaching social skills because I kept hearing how much young people who grew up with social media and phones as a big part of their youth have started to struggle with offline social interactions—particularly with making friends and maintaining friendships,” Mary, who didn’t share her surname, told Newsweek.
Tips For Making Friends In Your 30s
Despite these challenges, Mary insists it is possible—and deeply rewarding—to create new friendships in your 30s. Her advice includes:
- Join a weekly activity and stick to it. Trivia nights, bowling leagues, book clubs, fitness classes, or volunteer groups create consistency and familiarity. “When people recognize you, they’ll be more likely to want to talk to you, because you seem familiar and safe to them,” she said.
- Practice openness. Organized activities provide built-in conversation starters, but the key is to take the initiative and start talking.
- Try friend-making apps. Services like Bumble BFF, The RealRoots, and TimeLeft can connect you with people nearby who are also looking for friends.
- Be brave. “Bravery is often the biggest barrier,” Mary said. “You’ve got to leave your house, show up not knowing anyone, and be ready to build a connection.”
- Manage expectations. Friendship takes time. Frequency, proximity, and patience are essential. “Keep showing up, keep talking, and eventually they’ll feel more like friends than strangers,” Mary said.
Once a foundation is set, Mary said it is important to keep friendships going. Invite new friends to other activities, follow up with messages, and be supportive of their goals.
Equally important is sharing your own stories and vulnerabilities. “No one wants to be friends with someone who’s projecting an illusion of perfection,” she said.
Expanding Friendship Culture
Building friendships is more important than ever. A September 2024 Pew Research Center survey of 6,200 U.S. revealed that 16 percent of adults feel lonely or isolated all or most of the time, while another 38 percent said they sometimes feel lonely.
Age plays a role too, younger adults under 50 were more than twice as likely as those over 50 to report frequent loneliness. Perhaps even more worryingly, one in five (18 percent) said that they don’t have any close friends.
Mary’s work isn’t limited to TikTok videos and eBooks. She’s also developing a line of shirts and hats designed to signal openness to making friends—a conversation starter you can literally wear.
Her message is simple but powerful: friendships don’t just happen. They’re built—deliberately, patiently, and with a willingness to be both brave and authentic.
