Woman Asking Bridesmaids To Pay for Services Sparks Debate

A bride-to-be’s candid TikTok expressing her discomfort over asking bridesmaids to pay for beauty services for her wedding has ignited debate about the financial expectations of weddings.

In the video, the creator (posting as @katiefraaser) captures her cringing at the thought of asking her bridesmaids to pay for their own glam on her big day. Since the video was posted, it has received over 680,000 views and over 20,000 likes.

“How I feel when I ask my bridesmaids if they want to pay for a service to help them look their best at MY wedding,” the creator captioned the video. “The moments I’ve been dreading…why is this so awkward.”

While the video clearly shows her internal conflict, the creator clarified her stance in the comments, differentiating between obligation and choice. Replying to a critical comment comparing the ask to making dinner guests pay, she wrote, “I gave my girls the choice. If they were obligated [obviously] that’s different. Where I’m from, its totally normal for bridesmaids to pay for everything.”

She also added that most of her bridesmaids are doing their own makeup, suggesting the services were optional add-ons rather than requirements.

A Debate Amongst Bridesmaids

Despite her clarification, the video tapped into a sensitive aspect of wedding planning, drawing opinions from viewers on both sides.

Many commenters firmly believe the financial responsibility lies with the couple hosting the wedding.

One user shared their own approach. “Asked my best friends in the world to stand with me on my wedding day…saved for months to make proposal boxes, gifts for them on the wedding day and paid for hair and makeup,” they wrote. “Might be a hot take, but just think it’s common courtesy.”

Cultural norms also came into play, with a U.K.-based commenter saying she finds it uncommon to ask bridesmaids to pay their own way for anything. “Usually everything to do with the wedding day is covered,” she wrote. “If you can’t afford it, you just don’t have them.”

However, others argued that accepting the role of a bridesmaid inherently involves financial commitment.

“Apparently an unpopular opinion, but if you say yes to being a bridesmaid, I feel like you should anticipate paying for things like dress, shoes, hair and makeup?” one viewer argued.

Finding a middle ground by making professional services optional seemed a popular solution for navigating the awkwardness—something the bride clarified in the comments she was already doing.

“Girl! I felt the same way,” one person wrote. “I just told them that the service was optional, so if it didn’t fit into their budget then I totally get it…They all decided to go for it anyway!”

Others suggested prioritizing these costs within the wedding budget.

“I saved on bridesmaid proposal boxes and gifted hair and makeup to my girls! It was totally worth it,” another bride wrote.

While traditions and expectations vary, the awkwardness the creator felt underscores a balance between wanting a picture-perfect wedding party and respecting the budgets and choices of her closest friends.

Newsweek reached out to @katiefraaser for comment via TikTok.