Woman Dates ‘Really Nice’ Guy—Until He Sends ‘Unhinged’ Text

A young woman says she blocked a Hinge match after he told her he was interested in her because, “most people wouldn’t be attracted” to her, meaning he would have “less competition” dating her.

The 23-year-old woman, who goes by the Reddit username One-Spinach-6272, said the 27-year-old man had seemed, “really nice, cool, funny,” and had called her pretty multiple times before making the comment.

Afterward, the original poster (OP) said she felt confused and offended, but later questioned whether she had misunderstood his intentions.

Obsessive Behavior?

The post includes screenshots of messages she says he sent. In one exchange, he apparently wrote that he preferred dating someone who would not attract attention from others, suggesting it would make the relationship easier to control.

The woman said she blocked him shortly after.

Reddit critics reacted strongly to the screenshots. One compared the tone of the messages to obsessive behavior, writing, “You didn’t find anything else off about him besides insulting your appearance?”

Another supporter declared that they, “Don’t even need to go past the first slide, the dude is weird, next.”

The woman said she was torn because, aside from the comment, he had been complimentary and attentive. She questioned whether she had overreacted by blocking him immediately rather than seeking clarification.

Dating experts have previously warned about comments that undercut someone’s confidence early on. In a 2022 article for Newsweek, relationship expert Tammy Nelson said: “There are several red flags to look for when on a first date that can indicate problems or even toxic behavior further down the line.”

Nelson added, “The important thing when dating someone for the first time is to trust your intuition,” telling Newsweek, “If it feels wrong, it probably is.”

“Negging,” a tactic that involves delivering backhanded compliments or subtle insults to undermine someone’s self-esteem, has been reported by other women sharing first-date stories.

‘Ugly comments’

In a separate Newsweek report, a 21-year-old woman named Immy described being repeatedly insulted during a date.

“He made the ugly comments, called me stupid, made jokes wishing I was underage and talked about his exes,” she told Newsweek.

While the circumstances differ, both accounts center on comments about appearance that left the women unsettled. In the Reddit post, the 23-year-old said she could not tell whether her match intended to be manipulative, or simply phrased his thoughts poorly.

Other pundits argued that framing attraction around reduced “competition” suggested insecurity and possessiveness.